Caring Resources

My Fair Share

2010-03-11T18:45:00.000-08:00

When my children were in the pre-school and early elementary years, I frequently heard, “It’s not fair.” Not wanting to endure that verbiage for the next fifteen years, I must confess that early on I told them that life wasn’t fair. If it was, we would all be going to hell. (You will be relieved to know that additional theology accompanied that statement.)

Many parents feel that it is critical to be fair. Everyone seems to be screaming for fairness to prevail. The media loves to capitalize on injustice.
Lamentations 3:24 says, “The Lord is my portion says my soul, Therefore I hope in Him.”

God is my Portion—my fair share. You can’t get a better part, a fairer share. Whenever I get the short end of the stick, the smallest piece of pie, the illness instead of the healing, the absence of recognition, the closed ear, the closed door, the lack of appreciation, I have no lack—God is my portion. My share is more than fair.

Psalm 73:26, Psalm 119:57, Psalm 142:5, Jeremiah 51:19

2010-02-14T19:15:00.001-08:00

People with thoughts just like me. People with dreams just like me. People with fears just like me.

But I haven't heard the screams, the crashes, the terrors of an earthquake for hours and days and weeks. I haven't felt the parch of my throat aching for moisture. I haven't frantically searched for my child, my mother, my friend.

I read last week that these earthquake survivors desperately need people to listen to them—just listen. Not counseling, not advice--just someone to listen. "Weep with those who weep."

Jane isn't in Haiti, but she needs a listener. She is troubled by the behavior of her teenaged son. He's a good kid, but he's making a few questionable choices. Jane talks to her friend; she talks to a leader; she talks to an adult who knows her son. No one listens. Each one is quick with an action plan for Jane. Jane feels judged, alone. She feels "less than."

There is a call for listeners—and not just in Haiti. Can I listen and share someone's pain without speaking of a fix, a solution (even if it's in my thoughts). Do I think myself to be so capable that I must have a solution for everyone?

How long can I listen? I have read it; I know it; I just don't do it. Only special people and special occasions entice me to listen. If I listen to the least person, I have conveyed the person of Jesus—The Solution. He listens to me—every time.

Have you seen the movie, “The Blind Side”?

2010-01-18T16:46:00.000-08:00

It’s based on a true story, and it’s a sports story, both of which make it appealing to me. But the message of the movie is the importance of identifying and protecting your family—covering the blind side.

We all have blind sides. Maybe I’m so focused on one aspect of my life that I can’t see where I’m slipping. Perhaps it’s a sin that is so habitual that I can’t see the effects of this sin on my life or the lives of those I love. Could it be that I am so flattered or enamored by someone’s words or actions that I don’t notice the obvious pitfalls looming in the path I am choosing?

I need my blind side covered—and so do you. I must be diligent to cover the blind sides of those with whom I have relationship—whether that allegiance is deserved or not.

After that great ark-builder, Noah, got his feet on the terra firma, he planted a vineyard. Next step—wine. Noah must have sampled a lot of product. Ham, Noah’s middle son, discovered his drunk, naked father in the tent.

Instead of covering Noah’s blind side, he did what we are all too eager to do—he left his father “as is” and gave his brothers some spicy information they might not have known about their father. He exposed his father’s blind side. Ham’s two brothers quickly and carefully covered their father and by doing so received the blessing that Ham could have had.

I don’t think about the blessing I am forfeiting when I fail to cover someone’s blind side. I’m usually more focused on the way it feels to be the one “in the know”—the bearer of tasty morsels of information.

In the Present Moment, whose blind side are you covering? Have you built the relationships that will provide covering for your blind side?

We are believing that God is using HOPE in to provide tools and relationships to cover our blind sides. Please feel free to participate in any one of our workshops in 2010

For unto us a Son is born

2009-12-17T12:22:00.000-08:00

For unto us a Son is born; Unto us a Son is given . . .

Oh, the expectations a family had for a son. What was a family without a son? A son meant provision, reputation, perpetuation—hope for a future. A son could make a family rich, provide for parents in old age, bring the joy of grandchildren, elicit such pride when the words, “that’s my son” were spoken. What was it like to be a boy saddled with such expectation and demand even from birth? The harsh discipline, the unending education, the threat of reprimand at every turn, the expectation of perfection—only perfection would be acceptable. Being the first-born son became an overwhelming burden for sons of all ages and cultures.

And the government will be upon His shoulder.

And His name will be called

Wonderful,

Counselor,

Mighty God,

Everlasting Father,

Prince of Peace.

All expectations met. Hope ensured. Perfection guaranteed.

God’s first-born Son, for my family and yours.

We celebrate His birth, His kingdom, and His eternal reign!

Merry Christmas,
Farrar and Sheryl

Got Your Holiday Script Ready?

2009-11-23T19:24:00.000-08:00

Think about it.
Where will you be?
Who will you see?
What will you say?
What will you do?
What will they say?
What will they do?
How will it taste?

Can you just picture that perfect holiday in your mind? The glow, the smells, the words, the laughter, the music, the tastes, the games? It’s easy to assume that everyone’s script is just the same as yours—after all, you’re thinking about the perfect day. Surely if it’s perfect for you, it’s perfect for everyone.

You’ve done this before, haven’t you? How has that worked in the past? Does it ever happen exactly the way you want? Are the supporting characters aware of the need for your script to get played out? Or are all of your supporting characters trying to be the star of a script of their own?

This Thanksgiving and Christmas—will you lay down your script? Will you ask others what is important to them? Will you have a higher perspective? Are you willing to participate and cooperate with God at every event? Will you watch and listen for divine appointments? Are you willing to serve?

“For you have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.” Galatians 5:1

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Forgiveness

2009-10-28T09:51:00.000-07:00

“Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved,
put on tender mercies, kindness, humility,
meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another,
and forgiving one another, if anyone has a
complaint against another; even as Christ forgave
you, so you also must do.” —Colossians 3:12–13

Forgiveness! How can I get there and stay there? What if the same
thing keeps happening over and over again? Is God requiring
something of me that I am simply unable to do? Or, am I so hurt
and so tired that I just don’t want to forgive? Has my care-receiver
robbed me of so much—my past, my present, my future—that I
don’t want to give anything, especially forgiveness?

Without eternal perspective I cannot forgive, and unless I forgive
I have no awareness of eternal perspective. When I persist in
unforgiveness, every circumstance feels like a gouging into my
wounds. I don’t see anything about these circumstances as
purposeful. When my circumstances control my life—“I’m a
victim, life isn’t fair, if only . . .” I am unforgiving, and I am
imprisoning myself!

If I believe the offender is totally responsible for my emotional
pain and do not take responsibility myself, I will be at the mercy of
the offense.

Unforgiveness is sin! Unforgiveness interferes with my
relationship with God. Unforgiveness is the culprit that keeps the
sin alive. Unforgiveness prevents present moment living.
Unforgiveness is a prison of the soul! Unforgiveness kills, steals,
and destroys!

If someone has hurt you, and then unforgiveness robs
you of your peace and joy—your Abundant Life—the
offender wins again! Are you willing to let that happen in your
life?

I can forgive because I am forgiven! Jesus was willing to pay ALL
of the consequences for ALL of my sin—physically, spiritually, and
emotionally. His body was broken; He was separated from God.
He felt abandoned, rejected, and shamed. For me! For my eternal
wellness—that I might be healed and whole, united with Him and
the Father, emotionally full and well. All I have to do is to accept
Jesus’ payment of my debt of sin. What a deal! It’s such a good
deal that I have a difficult time grasping the offer and the
simplicity of acceptance.

What is the most difficult thing for you to forgive? Past events?
Past words? Present circumstances? Present words?

Father, Today my mom said _________________
_____________________. It really hurt my feelings.
I feel that she doesn’t appreciate what I do for her.
I choose to forgive her for those hurtful words. Only
You can bring contentment to her and peace to me.
Amen

From Effective Caregiving, Strength For Today

So, You Really Just Want Me To Pray?

2009-10-22T05:13:00.000-07:00

I can’t believe what my friend—actually more of an acquaintance—just shared with me. She poured out her heart. She trusted me. My heart broke with pain for her. I can’t imagine going through what she’s experienced.

But in my mind, I know what I would do now! Is this just my thinking, or could it be something from God for her? Should I tell her? Is this the right time? Am I the right person? What should I do?

Suddenly, what comes to my mind is just pray for her—nothing more. Does that mean here, now? In this specific situation, no! Sometimes God gives insight or discernment in order for me to be a knowledgeable intercessor. I must be as available to God for unseen intercession as I am for the visible input of truth.

On the other hand, I shouldn’t assume that I am not to speak into her life if she opens the door. I must be Spirit led. I must allow myself to be a healing vessel if He so chooses, but I must also remember—God is the Healer. I want to fear God too much to irreverently tamper with His dealings in another’s life. (From Hurt to HOPE, p. 111)

Are there people in your life who have shared deep hurt, pain, disappointments, desires, hopes, dreams? What have you done with that? Have you marched right into this sacred place of trust with ideas of your own—fixing? Or, have you waited, listened, prayed, felt God’s heart for the people, who have been willing to be so vulnerable—to honestly pour out their hearts? Proverbs 18:13 says that it is foolish and shameful to answer before we have listened.

What are you willing to hear—without analyzing, judging, condemnation, or fixing? Can you be trusted with emotional honesty? Are you a safe person?

Lord, I am so sad for what happened in my friend’s life. I am honored that she was willing to share her heart with me. Thank You for helping me to just listen. Please help me know how to even pray for her. Extend Your mercy, grace, peace, and healing to her today. Let her know that You care about everything that concerns her. Please continue to give me Your compassion for her.
In Jesus’ Name, Amen

On The Home Stretch

2009-10-08T15:09:00.001-07:00

Hear Farrar and Sheryl with Debbie Alan on ten minute internet radio segments. Go to www.onthehomestretch.com. Search the Archives for Caring Resources and watch for upcoming dates in September, October, November, and December. The first segment addressed dealing with difficult people; the July 15 segment discussed caring for aging parents, and August 27 explains L.I.V.E. Forward this link to your friends.

A Word From Ashley

2009-10-08T15:08:00.001-07:00

(The HOPE Coordinator for Mobile/Fairhope, Alabama)

Did I say the right thing? Did I quote the most comforting Scripture? Was I being a good Christian?
As a brand new nurse at the age of 22 on a bone marrow transplant floor, these were the questions I constantly asked myself. I wanted so desperately to bring comfort to my patients and their families as they dealt with cancer and their emotional roller coaster. However without realizing it, I was losing my health—mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. I was putting on myself a burden that God never wanted me to take on.
I will never forget the day HOPE was introduced to me as I sat at the nurse's station crying my eyes out, not able to make it another step. My dear friend Donna comforted me with a verse from Romans that encourages us to weep with those who weep. She didn't tell me to stop crying and get it together, but allowed me to express my emotions, which was a new and very freeing concept.

Immediately after attending the HOPE workshop, I walked onto the bone marrow transplant floor and instead of trying to dodge my patients' families afraid of the emotional burden I would walk away with, I went to them with ease knowing I had the tools to truly help them in their grief process. I feel this workshop has changed my life, and I am so thankful to share this with the people I love.

The HOPE Workshop teaches life lessons about stuff we "never learned in kindergarten", new concepts that are "light bulb" moments that make so much sense. It gives us tools to empty our emotional baggage so that we can live the abundant life Jesus promised and be true ambassadors for His Kingdom.

(Ashley is conducting a 12-Week HOPE in Mobile and has conducted a weekend workshop at the Catholic Retreat Center in Alabama.)

Words of Hope

2009-10-08T15:06:00.000-07:00

The rest of the family stayed in Israel. But, Elimelech was hungry and saw hope outside of Israel. He packed up his wife, Naomi, and their two sons and high-tailed it to Moab. Moab must be his own “promised land.” He could provide for his family there. It was so good in Moab, they just stayed. The landscape, the food, the customs quickly became familiar and comfortable. After years of the "good life" in Moab, Elimelech died, leaving his wife and sons without the support of extended family. The sons married Moabite women—those with whom they were now comfortable—and cared for their mother. Sadly, the sons died - overwhelming aloneness for Naomi. She got word of the Lord’s provision in Israel and determined to return to Judah - she longed for the comfort of family and old friends.

Surprisingly there was a companion for the journey. Loyal, loving, daughter-in-law Ruth walked away from her own comfort zone, and went the distance with Naomi.

When the home town folks greeted her, Naomi told the people of Bethlehem to call her Mara—bitter. God had testified against her and had afflicted her.(Ruth 1:21). Perhaps she was convicted about going to Moab. None of those other Bethlehem people had gone, and they had survived. And, she had stayed so long. It had been easier to stay—live with the choice—than come back. And the sons had married non-Jewish women, women who worshipped other gods. Wrong choice after wrong choice, and now she was alone. If only they hadn’t gone to Moab. If only they hadn’t stayed so long. If only her sons had married Jewish women. If only . . . If only.

But God never ceases to astound - to amaze. God’s redemption came through Ruth—one of the seemingly wrong choices. It was not too late for Naomi - once again she had family and provision. Redemption had come through Ruth and Boaz, then Obed, then Jesse, then David the King—and then the King of Kings.

It’s never too late for God’s redemption. His redemption is for every “if only” in your life.

HOPE BENEFIT

2009-10-08T14:51:00.000-07:00

HOPE Benefit April 30, 2009 What a great evening we enjoyed together. Delicious food, beautiful music, old friends, new friends, beautiful art, all joining to learn what God is doing through and with Caring Resources. We heard some very inspirational testimonies from Brian Robison, Greg and Lisa Oliver, Betty Plank, and Jon and Bethany Melton—assorted ages and stages that have benefitted from HOPE.

The silent auction was a big hit! Camille Engel, Connie Barnes, Aimee Siegel, Amy Conner, Paulette Mitchell, Charles Brindley, and Farrar Moore all donated beautiful work for the auction. There was also a Michael Sloan print that was donated. Each piece found a happy and proud new owner. Caring Resources appreciates the generosity of these artists and the value of their work.

The evening raised $7,000 that will go toward the Spanish translation of HOPE and the development of Youth HOPE. We were excited to have some friends who committed to a monthly contribution.

You, too, can partner with HOPE! Support the translation effort, HOPE for Youth, and scholarship funds for those in need. Our nation is reeling from the effects of personal loss. Be a part of opening a door to God’s healing across our country and around the world. Would you like to partner with us? Click here to learn how. www.caringresources.com or call our offices at 615.573.5061